Blinking hard, I realize
I'm bloody perving at him again. What the hell is wrong with me.
Immediately I chase the cold cocktail down my throat, surprised at how delish it is. Facing him as I lower the glass from my lips, he's giving me one of those intense moonlit stares. Glancing behind me, I notice it is full in the sky, illuminating him just enough to look like a god stepped out of a dream.
“Refill?” he asks, proffering the bottle my way with a dip of the neck.
I nod, strangely self-conscious.
We drink in silence this time, and the breeze reminds me that I am lonely. There's just enough wind to chill my bones and clatter my teeth, to remind me of the crumbled walls around my heart and the blown out windows which can't hold in heat, or happiness.
He lifts my hand off my leg, kissing the back of it softly, “It's okay bambina.”
He holds onto my hand, and it's warm and solid, reassuring and strong... safe. Guilt slaps me up the side of the head and I turn back to stare at the midnight view, wondering how I can extricate my hand from his without being rude and hurting his feelings.
I can't. It's too raw. He's sweet, and thoughtful, and on any other planet, in any other time, he'd be perfect, but just looking at him makes me feel like I'm cheating.
“You're not cheating. It's okay Phoebe, I understand.”
His hand tightens, the grasp warm and solid, sturdy and supportive. Staring out over the lake, he exhales heavily, using the shadows to mask his face... to hide his eyes.
“We all fall in love, and we think this is it, this is going to last forever.” His tone thickens, deepens. “You're so naively happy, you believe nothing in the world could ruin the bond... the depth of understanding you share, without saying a word.”
His mouth tightens, I see it in the way his silhouette grimaces.
“But, that's not the way life works. Life has a nasty habit of taking the one thing you'd die for, the one thing you can't function without, and leaving you hollow,” he continues.
Hollow. That's exactly how I feel.
Immediately I chase the cold cocktail down my throat, surprised at how delish it is. Facing him as I lower the glass from my lips, he's giving me one of those intense moonlit stares. Glancing behind me, I notice it is full in the sky, illuminating him just enough to look like a god stepped out of a dream.
“Refill?” he asks, proffering the bottle my way with a dip of the neck.
I nod, strangely self-conscious.
We drink in silence this time, and the breeze reminds me that I am lonely. There's just enough wind to chill my bones and clatter my teeth, to remind me of the crumbled walls around my heart and the blown out windows which can't hold in heat, or happiness.
He lifts my hand off my leg, kissing the back of it softly, “It's okay bambina.”
He holds onto my hand, and it's warm and solid, reassuring and strong... safe. Guilt slaps me up the side of the head and I turn back to stare at the midnight view, wondering how I can extricate my hand from his without being rude and hurting his feelings.
I can't. It's too raw. He's sweet, and thoughtful, and on any other planet, in any other time, he'd be perfect, but just looking at him makes me feel like I'm cheating.
“You're not cheating. It's okay Phoebe, I understand.”
His hand tightens, the grasp warm and solid, sturdy and supportive. Staring out over the lake, he exhales heavily, using the shadows to mask his face... to hide his eyes.
“We all fall in love, and we think this is it, this is going to last forever.” His tone thickens, deepens. “You're so naively happy, you believe nothing in the world could ruin the bond... the depth of understanding you share, without saying a word.”
His mouth tightens, I see it in the way his silhouette grimaces.
“But, that's not the way life works. Life has a nasty habit of taking the one thing you'd die for, the one thing you can't function without, and leaving you hollow,” he continues.
Hollow. That's exactly how I feel.
RYAN by Poppet
Available now from Amazon
No comments:
Post a Comment